my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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