sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
