id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
