Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
