My brain says no but my pants say off.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he thought i was a dude.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
