If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
