I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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