I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
