I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
