I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
