Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
