Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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