I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
