i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
