New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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