Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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