dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
