Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
