i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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