And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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