Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
