Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
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I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize