i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
