Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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