yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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