i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
