Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
