Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
