we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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