Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that's an acceptable place to lick
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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