I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
