I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize