Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
