some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize