Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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