I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
