Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
