people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
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We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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