'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
