I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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