If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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