Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
