Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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