On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
