I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
