It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
