I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
