just tell him i said nine months
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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