So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
