remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
