Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
