we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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