hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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