his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
