last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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