just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
