If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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