Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize