So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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