Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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