is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize