Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
is it fun? or sober?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
