That's intense
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
