Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
