You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
