he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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