Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
