I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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