Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
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Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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